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Moon Menace on Planet Tell-a-Lie!/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for Moon Menace on Planet Tell-a-Lie!. Transcript Jason: (roars) The Humonga Gila Monster has turned south down Main Street, his path of chaos wide. (roars) His thirst for destruction is brewing. Ouch. The townspeople flee for their lives screaming. (roars) The townspeople flee for their lives screaming. Michelle! Michelle: Huh? Oh, right. Ahhh. Jason: The airforce is powerless against the monster. (roars) Michelle: Eeeee. Jason: The monster rips the base off the plack tower and sends it hurdling through the crowd. Michelle: And then, Captain Awesome swoops in and rescues Miss Pretty Pretty romantically. Jason: Michelle, we're playing Humonga Gila Monster, not Captain Awesome. Michelle: You don't get to make all the rules, Jason. Jason: Yeah, but giant monsters don't go with superheroes. Grandmum: Oh, poppets! Time for--oof. Jason: Grandmum, are you okay? Grandmum: Not to worry, dear. I'm fine. Oh, I haven't seen this in ages. I'm glad it wasn't damaged, it's rather fragile. Jason: Hey, that's a cool old dartboard. Where did it come from? Grandmum: It was one of your granddad's prized possessions, dear. There's a photo album with it, too, chronicling the event. If you fetch it, I'll tell you the whole exciting story. Grandmum: Back in his day, your granddad was a champion dartsman. Jason: Found it! Here you go. Grandmum: Now, let's see. Ah, here we are. See? There he is. Michelle: Who are the guys in the funny hats? Grandmum: Why, those are the queen's own guards. They guard her palace back in England. Years ago, your granddad competed with them in a tournament around the Toadstool. Jason: Cool. Grandmum: Oh, what a contest! And it all came down to a final dart. Granddad needed one more bullseye. And goodness, that crowd was in a stir. Crowd: (chanting) One more! Grandmum: Why, the whole room was shaking. Then, just as he was about to throw the that dart. Jason and Michelle: What happened? Michelle: What happened next? Grandmum: The dartboard slipped from its nail. But your granddad gathered himself and he threw that dart anyway. No one had seen anything like it, the perfect role. Crowd: (cheers) Jason: Woah, awesome! Michelle: And you saw all this, Grandmum? Grandmum: Of course I did, poppet. I took the picture for the London Evening Times. Why, here's a picture of me taking a picture of him. Michelle: Grandmum, you were so young! Grandmum: And so proud, my dear. From that day forward, they called your grandfather the King of Darts. Jason: Woah, is this the winning dart? Can I play with it? Michelle: Me too? Jason: Can I have a throw? Michelle: Please, Grandmum? Please? Grandmum: Sorry, poppets. Too dangerous for little nippers like yourselves. Perhaps when you're a bit older. Jason and Michelle: Grandmum. Grandmum: Now, put these things back where you found them, my darlings. And then, hurry down. It's almost time for lunch. Jason: Hey, Michelle, set that on the step there for a second. Michelle: Okay! What are you gonna do? Jason: I'm gonna throw a bullseye, just like Granddad. Michelle: But Grandmum told us not to play with it. Jason: Yeah, I know, but it wouldn't hurt to throw just one dart. Michelle: I don't know. Jason: Oh, relax, I'll be careful. Just one throw. Michelle: Jason. Jason: Just one throw. Grandmum: Comin', poppets? Jason: (gasps) Oh, no. Grandmum: Heavens! What was that noise? Jason: You can't tell her what happened. Say it just fell. Michelle: What? I'm not gonna lie for you. Jason: Please, don't let me get in trouble. Michelle: I didn't make you, you're the one-- Jason: Come on, Michelle, please. Grandmum: Good gracious, what's happened here? Jason: It fell. It just...fell! I didn't throw a dart at it or anything! Right, Michelle? Michelle: Yeah, that's what happened. It fell, by itself. Grandmum: Hmm, well, if that's your word, I'll just have to believe you. Michelle: You will? Jason: You will? Grandmum: Of course, dear. Because you two know what the Good Book says. "Lies will get any man into trouble, but honesty is its own defense." Michelle: Oh, yeah. Grandmum: And you know what that means, right? Jason: Um, kind of. Grandmum: When you tell a lie, it may have seemed like a good idea, but you end up feeling like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. But you know that, right? Michelle: Right, Grandmum. Jason: Yup! Grandmum: Alright then. Put this back upstairs, then come down before your lunch gets cold. Jason: Okie doke! Michelle: I can't believe you made me do that. Jason: Ow. Fidgel: Welcome aboard, cadet. Fidgel: Sorry we had to galeezel you so abruptly. Midgel: But we had no choice. There's a big time emergency on the planet Tell-a-Lie. Jason: That's okay. Where's the captain? Midgel: He's, uh, "preparing" for the mission. Zidgel: Geeky. Sneaky. Sassy. Ooh, classy. Mmm, twice as classy. Fidgel: The giant moon of Planet Tell-a-Lie has slipped its orbit and is now plummenting at an astounding rate. Midgel: And if we don't get there soon, the entire planet will be flattened like a flounder. Zidgel: Prepare to bring Jason aboard! How you're doing? Zidgel: Midgel, did we just get boarded by a humonga gila monster? Fidgel: What are you talking about? And I'm Fidgel. Zidgel: Now then, where was I? Kevin: In the bathroom! Zidgel: Ah! Jason, there's an emergency on Planet Tell-a-Lie! The moon has slipped its orbit. Midgel: And the situation could cause a chain reaction. Fidgel: A flood. Midgel: A fire. Fidgel: A flood on fire. Kevin: Their cable could go out. Zidgel: Been there. Jason: How could a giant moon just slip out of its orbit? Fidgel: It wouldn't occur naturally. The problem is imminating from the planet. Someone did something they shouldn't have. Midgel: Approaching Planet Tell-a-Lie! Fidgel: Prepare for landing! Midgel: How many points do I need? Fidgel: Well, let's see. Fifty. One more bullseye! Midgel: One more. Midgel: Point of entry! Midgel: Bullseye! That's game! Fidgel: Lucky shot. Zidgel: Hmm, where is everybody? Are we on the right planet? What gives--yeouch! Alright, who threw this? Dart #1: It was me. Zidgel: Who? Zidgel: Yeouch! Now just what--? Dart #1: Hello. and welcome to the Planet Tell-a-Lie! Zidgel: Greetings! I am Captain Zidgel, and this is my crew! I'd like to speak to the man in charge, the big guy, the top dog, numero uno. Fidgel: The king. Dart #1: Right, the king. Uh, of course. Well, you're in luck. Because, I'm the king. I live in the royal palace tower. I was just out for a stroll with my, uh, subjects. Yup, that's me. I'm the king. Fidgel: Funny, you don't look like the king. Dart #1: I lost weight, and I shaved my mustache. And had my nose shortened. And I'm wearing contact lenses which is why I no longer wear glasses. Zidgel: Your majesty! We must humbly inform you that your massive moon is heading straight toward your tiny planet and we must do something before it's too late. Dart #1: No, it isn't. Zidgel: Please, remain calm. There is no need to worry. The danger is not imminent and you've got plenty of time to figure this out. First, we'll take care of the floods and the fires, then we'll get your cable back. Basic, full package. Midgel: Uh, Captain? Zidgel: Huh, yes. Don't know how I missed that. Guess you're doomed. Come on, crew, back to the ship. Jason: But, Captain, we have to help them. Midgel: He'll be back, I've got the keys. You're all in great danger from this giant moon above. We were just warning your king. Dart #2: What? What matter of treason is this? He is not the king, I am the king. Dart #1: He's right. Jason: What? I thought you said that you were the king. Dart #1: No, I didn't. Dart #2: Yes, you did. Zidgel: Uh, I'm gonna need the keys. Midgel: Captain, this other fellow says he's the king. Zidgel: Wait a second! Did you used to be a bit rounder and have a bright orange mustache, glasses, and a larger nose? Dart #2: Um, yes. Yes, I did. Zidgel: Your majesty! Female Dart: He's not the king! I am the king! Zidgel: Your maje-- Zidgel: Something's making the local royalty a little edgy. Midgel: Huddle. Midgel: Alright, what's going on here? Zidgel: Three kings, I've heard this story somewhere. Jason: Captain, I don't think that they're really-- Zidgel: It involves a donkey. Jason: Listen, I think everyone on this planet is lying. Midgel: But why? And how are we gonna find the real king? Jason: Well, I think if we can find the royal palace, Fidgel: We'll find the king! But how do we get a straight answer from--? Jason: I've got an idea! Which way to the palace of Tell-a-Lie? Dart #2: North. Dart #1: South. Female Dart: East! Crew: West! Zidgel: West! Guys? It was west, right? Guys? We're going west, aren't we? Female Dart: Hang on! I can't keep up! Jason: This must be the palace tower. Dart #1: Oh no, that's not it. It's much bigger than that. Dart #2: Yes, and its, um, blue. Fidgel: According to these calculations, this is the only tower on the planet. Dart #1: Well, yes, but we have ten more towers planned. Dart #2: And I'm the architect. Female Dart: That's true. Zidgel: You know, these Tell-a-Liars are very intelligent and perceptive darts. That one told me I was the handsomest, most brilliant leader he'd ever seen. Fidgel: But, Captain, they don't tell the truth. Zidgel: Exactly! See, they, wait. Fidgel: Sir, I've been monitoring my device, and whereas I thought the giant moon was falling at a constant rate, I now see that it is falling very erratically. Zidgel: So he doesn't think I'm handsome? Midgel: Well, we found the palace, but we still have a problem. We still don't know which one of these darts is the king. Zidgel: I have an idea. Your attention, please! I am Captain Zidgel. Your planet is in great danger, and we must speak with your king immediately. Which way to the real king? Darts: Right here! Right here! Zidgel: Hmm, seemed to work better with that east-west thing. What was that?! Midgel: Look! Dart #1: The tower has stopped the moon! Darts: (cheer) Dart #1: That's why I built it. Have no fear! I used only the strongest materials, and the tower will-- Darts: (panic) Dart #1: Well, maybe I cut a few corners, but I still-- Darts: (panic) Dart #1: I invented belly buttons. Midgel: We gotta figure out what's causing this. Kevin: I know what's causing it. Rest of crew: What? Kevin: This giant moon right here. Fidgel: Captain, I think I've stumbled onto something. Zidgel: Well, you must be more careful. Fidgel: Well, according to the data on my device, something that these citizens are doing right now is causing their moon to drop. Zidgel: What, uh, what do you call that device? Fidgel: It's a Frannibalistic Parambulatoy Situator with D-class jiros and homing capabilities. Zidgel: I'm just going to call it Carl. (clears throat) Good people of Tell-a-Lie! According to Carl, you're doing something that caused this. Name something you do a lot of. Dart #2: Well, we arm wrestle a lot. Jason: But you don't have any arms. Dart #2: I didn't say we were good at it. Fidgel: Captain, I'm prepared to postulate the definitive correlation between the rate of their verbal utterances and their planet's approximate lunar distance. Zidgel: See, I'm not even sure some of those are words. Midgel: You know, I think Fidgel's right. Every time they speak, the moon drops. Zidgel: When did he say that? Never mind, I'll handle this. Good people of Tell-a-Lie, I respectfully ask that you all be silent. Well, there you have it! Citizens, we have discovered your problem! You will be happy to know that you will all be safe and sound, as long as none of you speak again for the rest of your lives, ever. Goodbye, you're welcome, and please don't worry, I know you are all cheering for me in your hearts. Problem solved, I'm a genius. Darts: (panic) Dart #2: What now? Zidgel: I'm all packed out. Dart #1: We're doomed! Midgel: Think everyone, think. Zidgel: Wait! No, sorry, nothing. Dart #2: What are we gonna do? Female Dart: What can you do when you've got the weight of the world on your tower? Jason: Stop lying! Dart #1: What? Jason: Don't you see? You gotta stop lying! Dart #2: We're not lying! Jason: See? You gotta tell the truth! "Lies will get any man into trouble, but honesty is its own defense." It's wrong to lie, and when you do, it feels like the weight of the world is on you! Fidgel: Captain, Jason is correct! Midgel: Quick, Fidgel, how long can the tower hold? Fidgel: I'm afraid the tower can only hold for three more lies. Zidgel: I knew that. Fidgel: Make that two more lies. Zidgel: Sorry about that. Normally, I'm not one to tell a fib. Midgel: Captain, please! We only have one more lie! Darts: (chant) One more! Zidgel: Look, all I'm trying to say is th-- Jason: Please, please, nobody tell a lie! Dart King: I am the king. Dart King: It's true, I am. I knew I wasn't supposed to, but I couldn't resist the beautiful shiny red button. The sign said "Do not touch under any circumstances", but I did it anyway. Fidgel: You pressed the button that released your moon from its orbit! Dart King: Yes, I did. And then I asked everyone to lie for me so that I wouldn't get in trouble with the Federation. Female Dart: And then, we just started lying all the time! We feel awful. Jason: I know how you feel. Fidgel: Captain, it seems telling the truth makes the moon rise! Zidgel: (muffled sounds) Thank you. Everyone must tell the truth! Does anyone remember how to tell the truth? Dart #2: I'm not the king. Dart #1: This isn't my real hair. Zidgel: I sleep with a binkie! Dart #2: I don't floss regularly! Dart King: Thank you. Thank you. Your truth and your bravery have saved our tiny planet. Zidgel: Well, your majesty, it all came together when I--never mind. Dart King: We thank you for saving us. And to express our appreciation, we prepared your ship to launch you back to the Federation. Jason: Hey, it must feel great to come clean, huh? Zidgel: You bet it does. I love my daily bubble bath. Jason: Well, actually, I meant it must feel great to tell the truth, right? Midgel: Beginnng countdown! Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, Rest of crew: Five, four, three, two-- Zidgel: Wait! No, sorry, nothing. Grandmum: There, good as new. Jason: Michelle, where are you going? Michelle: Downstairs. I feel terrible, and I'm not gonna lie for you anymore, Jason. I'm gonna tell Grandmum the truth. I'm gonna tell her what really happened. Jason: Oh, no, you're not. Michelle: Oh yeah? Why not? Jason: Because I am. Jason: Grandmum? Grandmum: Yes, dear? What is it, dear? Jason: I broke your dartboard. It didn't fall by itself. It was me. I threw a dart at it, and made it fall. Grandmum: I see. Jason: And then, when you came upstairs, I made Michelle lie for me. Michelle: He didn't make me, Grandmum, it was my choice. I could have told the truth up there, I just didn't. And I'm sorry. Jason: I'm sorry, too, Grandmum. Very sorry. Grandmum: Well, now. Do you know what I have to say to that? Jason and Michelle: No, ma'am. Grandmum: I'm going to look you right in the eye and say, well done! Jason and Michelle: What? Jason: What are you talking about, Grandmum? Michelle: What do you mean? Grandmum: It's not always easy to tell the truth. And maybe it took you some time, but in the end, you stood up and did the brave thing. You told the truth. Don't you feel better now? Jason and Michelle: Yes, much better. Jason: Because we told the truth, right, Grandmum? Grandmum: Bullseye, Jason, bullseye! Jason and Michelle: Dear God. Jason: Please forgive me for lying. Michelle: And forgive me for lying. Jason: And help us to always tell the truth. Michelle: Please bless Mom and Dad and Grandmum. Jason: And please bless Michelle, because even though I don't always act like it, she's my sister, and I love her. And that's the truth. Jason and Michelle: Amen. Category:Transcripts Category:3-2-1 Penguins! transcripts Category:Finished Transcripts